What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do men love boobs (irrespective of big or small)?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What is the best way to end a relationship with someone who has future plans with you?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is the difference between Michael Corleone’s marriage to Apollonia Vitelli and Kay Adams?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

TEXT:

Why can't the ISS take a picture of Earth and prove to the Flat Earth Society that Earth is not really flat?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Where did Kamala Harris learn how to change positions so quickly? Did she learn it from working in the world's oldest profession?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What does it mean to dream about demons possessing people, and what can be done about this dream that keeps occurring for years?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Make Nazis afraid again!

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...